My decision to leave the workplace and stay home…
…was a hard one! But it was the plan all along. Ever since we decided we wanted another child, and God answered with our little Liam, we had planned for me to leave the workplace and home school him…as soon as the debts were paid off.
Every single day, from the time he was born…until my final day in the workplace, almost 5 years later, was very difficult!
I missed him. I worried that the other children would pick on him and teach him bad habits. I worried that he would be unkind to other children. I was tired and short tempered and SO excited to see him every day after work. But we only had about 4 or 5 waking hours together on week days…
And for a while 3 of those hours were in the car, because we moved over an hour outside of the city when Liam was 3-1/2.
I was conflicted and unsure if I was making the “right” decision. Even though I am old enough to know that some things are neither right nor wrong in the broadest sense.
I was not sure if I would be a “good enough” mother, if I would have enough patience or if I would get bored being at home. If my child would be better off with less of me, or more of me. If our family would be better off with more money, or more of me. Would we ever…get…all…the…debt…paid…off?!
And then we did, it was all paid off and it was time to go for it, or be at peace with working.
I was not at peace with working.
I felt that I was stretched too thin to give my family my best, as long as I was working- even part time ( I did that for the last few months just to see if that would be a good fit).
So I left the work place, the 9 to 5… and stayed home… full time.
I still loose my temper from time to time. I still get overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities and I still doubt myself. But I don’t regret the time that I have had with this precious little boy.
I love the extra time that I get to ..just..think, to crochet, to clean..my..house…!
I have time to meal plan and scrimp and save,.. and..frett;P
I have time to get all the laundry clean and put away before my husband gets home from his looong commute. And time enough to cook nice meals.
I was just getting used to it.
…and then my husband was given a job offer only 3 miles from our very rural home.
A job that would mean being way beyond frugal…It will mean that we will have to sell things that we make and maybe pick up odd jobs here and there to make ends meet.
And I am scared!
But …I am also excited to spend more time with my husband. This new job will mean 3 hours more time at home for him …per…day!
So ..it’s okay. And I can be excited and scared all at the same time.
All great adventures start that way I suppose!
Thoughts from a pastor
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